MCSWEENEY’S

The Immortan Joe Administration Releases The 2776 Report

William Carlos Williams Tries To Reach His Word Count

It Is I, William Shakespeare, And I Am Begging You To Stop Letting High Schoolers Put On Productions Of Macbeth

We Must Take A Stand Against Georgia O’Keeffe’s Unrealistic Beauty Standards For Vaginal Anatomy

Situations Where My Particular Set of Skills Would Come In Handy

Susan Sontag’s “Notes on (Summer) Camp”

Electric Literature

Am I The Elizabethan Asshole?

Dorian Gray Drops His Skincare Routine

I’m a Sucker for a Good Family Drama

Famous Walt Whitman Poems and What I Wish They Were About

REDUCTRESS

Here Is Where Each Presidential Candidate Stands On The Student Debt Crisis And Also Where They Stand When We Make Them Line Up In Height Order

New Season Of ‘Serial’ To Analyze Who Killed The Vibe At This Party

Apartment Hunting Tips That Are All Waiting In The Bushes And Pouncing When The Apartment Least Expects It

Sophie Turner’s New Hair Makes Her Totally Unrecognizable, Especially Because This Is A Picture Of Emilia Clarke

The Astrological Reason You Feel Anxious That Has Nothing to Do With the Four Coffees You Just Shotgunned

Adorable Winter Handbags That Are All Just the Pockets of Your Puffer Jacket

Too Far? This Meeting Got CANCELLED

QUIZ: Can I Get a Hell Yeah?

We Asked 100 People How They Defined Love but We Forgot to Write Their Answers Down

Girlboss! This Woman Made Millions Selling Baby Shoes (Never Worn)

Woman Thinking About if Past Self Would Be Proud of Her; Past Self Thinking About Eating a Leaf

Holy Infant So Tender and Mild Not as Popular as Cheetos ® Flamin’ Hot Holy Infant

Sad! Woman Missed Her Subway Stop and Everyone on the Train Knows It and Thinks She’s a Loser

Nice! One of the Wise Men Was Actually an OBGYN

Points in Case

What I Think Will Happen When I Become a Runner

We Must Find the Culprit of These Heinous Murders Because the Detectives Keep Using All the Red Yarn I Need for Knitting

Alternatives To Shakespeare In The Park

What I Think Will Happen When I Complete Duolingo Beginner French

I Know This Is Your Summer Hangout, But As Your Father I Think It Would Be Much Better If I Fired up the Grill

the belladonna

Chekhov’s Other Concepts

A Gentle Reminder From A Trojan Mother To Her Recently Ambushed Son

Tips For Throwing An Awesome Wine Tasting Party Specifically So You Can Entomb Your Friend In The Catacomb Beneath Your House

Real Reasons I am Returning My Purchase Versus the Reasons I Claimed

greener pastures

Mitch and Murray Have Some Feedback For Blake’s “Glengarry Glen Ross” Presentation

slackjaw

Claudius, Come See This Play I Put On About A King Who Keeps Leaving His Dirty Dishes In The Sink

How Dare You Suggest I Wrote This YA Novel As A Way Of Living Out My High School Fantasies Of Getting Revenge On My Bullies And Hooking Up With Popular Girls

A Letter From The Hotel California Management Regarding Recent Employee Policy Infringements

weekly humorist

A Millennial Metamorphosis

HBO Highlights Its Very Original, Very Unique Content